Race pictures. There are very few things in my life that can cause me to feel as low as I do when I see race pictures of myself. I can't see them and be proud of the fact that I accomplished the event or see them and say, wow, I have lost weight! Or say how great it is to have a picture to commemorate the event. Nope, I see none of those positive and enlightening things. The negativity in me all comes out at once as soon as I see those pictures. All I can see is the progress that still needs to be made. I see the fat on my legs, the fat on my arms, the fat on my stomach. I see that my running form is still not optimal, that I'm not kicking my legs back and using them like pendulums as advised in the "Triathlete's Training Bible". All I can do is compare myself to the other people racing around me who I see as being thin and perfect (of course I should be happy that everyone around me is so fit and perfect looking, that means that once I lose the extra 10 pounds that I'll be kicking their butts)!

My friends give me advice on how to deal with this - don't look at the damn pictures! Just delete them! Well, I wish I could do that. In theory that would work. But for me, each time that email pops into my box with a happy subject line about race pictures, I feel this glimmer of hope that this time the pictures will be good. I will look good, that extra weight that I've been working so hard to shed has finally come off and I will be happy to see that I finally have an "after" picture that I can be proud of. Unfortunately that has yet to happen. But it will. I will lose that weight. I will finally be able to look at race pictures and be proud and happy of the new person that I've managed to transform myself into. I will look at those pictures and see an athlete. Until then I'll keep working on the transformation!!